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June 8th 2010 will mark the beginning of the Stephen Strasburg era in Washington. The Nationals announced today that Strasburg will make his Major League debut on June 8th against the Pittsburg Pirates.

Strasburg, out of San Diego State, was the top pick in last June’s draft and received a four-year deal worth just north of $15.1 million. His contract was the most guaranteed money given to a player drafted since the Chicago Cubs drafted Mark Prior in 2001, who received $10.5 million in guaranteed money.

Strasburg’s arrival has been heavily anticipated since he has drafted last year. This season, Strasburg has compiled a 6-2 record with a 1.42 ERA and 60 strikeouts in 50 1/3 innings between Double-A and Triple- A. He will make one final minor league start on Thursday and will pitch 6 innings or 95 pitches according to Washington General Manager Mike Rizzo.

Former Red Sox Curt Schilling said this about Strasburg.

"I've never seen anything like this. Never. Nothing close. Not at that age, that polished. If he comes up to the big leagues -- which he will in the next probably month, some period of time before the halfway point of the season -- he'll immediately potentially be the best pitcher in the game. He's that polished. ... He's got a pitcher's mind, because there's a lot of guys who get to the big leagues that throw 96 who never get people out. He's pitching smart, which is rare for a kid his age. He commands the baseball. At that level, that stuff, to command the baseball, I've never seen anything like it. I've seen a lot of guys throw 98 in Double A, and they never go any farther. This guy commands a 100 mile-an-hour fastball. And when I talk about velocity as a pitcher, I'm not talking about, 'Oh, once in the fifth inning he hits 100.' He'll touch triple digits first through ninth. And he's got that ace mentality, where I've seen him ramp up and throw a pitch five miles an hour harder than the pitch before it, in his last inning of work."

I hate to post a Schilling quote because he always has to give his opinion on everything but Schilling is right-- Strasburg has big time talent, stuff that can only be witness while playing MLB The Show.

Strasburg is like purchasing a vintage 1969 Dodge Charger. You can imagine yourself in the front seat, turning heads as you zoom by other cars. No other vehicle can compare. You have the pinnacle of control, power, speed, and luxury all rolled into one package. You dream about the possibilities (Nationals making a run at the NL Wild Card) of testing the vehicle (Strasburg) at the next level. Everyone is screaming (Fans and media) that the car can handle the jump because of the skill set it possesses (100+mph fastball, great curve, slider and changeup). You have put the vehicle on the open road and have taken it out for a few spins, witnessing what it is capable of (minor league dominance) and you can not help but to crave more (June 8th call up). But can the car handle the open road when the pedal is floored for a sustained period of time?

Strasburg is the present and the future of the Nationals. I just hope the Nationals have insurance in case their powerful vehicle runs out of gas a few years down the road like other prized cars have done (see Mark Prior). Strasburg has once in a generation talent. The Nationals must keep their expectations and temptations in line in order to preserve this beauty.

The Ultimate "Man-wich"

On April 12, KFC launched the “Double Down,” a disgustingly greasy and unhealthy meal consisting of bacon, spicy mayonnaise, Pepper Jack and Monterey Jack cheese, sandwiched between two pieces of fried chicken. The sandwich has no bread and not even a single piece of lettuce. This may be a bun-less sandwich, but it is about as meaty as Kim Kardashian’s back side. Amen.

This past Friday, I finally tried the unprecedented sandwich despite having no intention to ever try one. I am not in the granola crowd, but I could not wrap my head around the concept of holding two pieces of greasy fried chicken. I just envisioned opening up the wrapping around the sandwich and witnessing the grease start racing down my hand like the Kentucky Derby. My image of the sandwich was enough to turn my stomach.

It was 1PM when I was done with work. My boss was giving me a ride back home. While we were driving back, he randomly pulled into KFC and said, “Ryan, have you ever tried the Double Down?” I simply told him no and he looked at me like I was Sloth from The Goonies. I guess my hand was forced into having one…. (Side note- I packed my lunch for the day and so did he. The Double Down has that much control over a man.) I received my Double Down from the obese lady at the register (only fitting) and indulged myself in all 540 calories, 32g of fat, and 1,380mg of sodium, punching my ticket for clogged arteries.

The sandwich was UNBELIEVABLE! It was so tasty it was disturbing. After the first bite, I was hooked. The sauce compliments the overly salty pieces of chicken perfectly. The cheese is partially melted into the two strips of under cooked bacon. Yet, the sandwich's appearance does not matter due to the taste. I would take the Double Down over any Big Mac or Whopper. Our phenomenal research team at The Boston Sports Party found some pretty amazing/disgusting facts about the DD.

As of Friday, May 21st, the day I ate my first, KFC has sold 10 million Double Downs. Nutritionists from the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine’s are even advocating for KFC to keep advertisements for the sandwich at least 500 yards away from schools. One consumer, according to Digitaleternal.com, used 6 double sided napkins to soak up the excess grease/oil from the Double Down. Perfectly normal and healthy...

I do not care what the health facts are. The Double Down is the definition of a “Man-wich,” a sandwich that makes all men proud. I will take the gamble and double down with the sandwich every time, the reward is just too tempting.

Bill Gramatica's Back!!!

It's the reincarnation of Bill Gramatica! Except this time he's 100 pounds heavier and Cuban. Way to go Kendry Morales, you've entered yourself into the category of historically hilarious injuries. No, we aren't sympathizing with you, we're laughing at you. Then I got to thinking...what is the funniest sports injury ever? Morales and his beer-drinker body had to be close to the funniest, right? I mean, he's fat and unathletic, so it's only fitting that he jumps two inches off the ground and shatters his ankle (reminds me of another writer on this blog). Anyway, I think it at least makes the top 5:

5. Sammy Sosa sneezing and throwing out his back. Yea, a power icon of his generation hurt himself sneezing too hard in the dugout and subsequently was placed on the 15-day DL.

4. Joel Zumaya straining his forearm from playing too much Guitar Hero.

3. Here's where Morales belongs. He'd probably be higher, but at least he injured himself celebrating something worthy of celebrating. Guy just proved how unathletic he is with this little stunt.

2. Gus Frerotte headbutting the endzone wall after a one yard TD run and nearly paralyzing himself. It's a classic "what were you thinking" moment.

1. Bill Gramatica isn't being replaced atop this list anytime soon. What makes this injury so funny is that he suffered it while celebrating a fucking field goal. It wasn't even to win the game! It was just an ordinary 40 yard field goal in the first half! Unfortunately Youtube has some copyright thing that keeps the video from being easily accessible, but it's absolutely hilarious to watch the guy writhe in pain after landing poorly and tearing the ACL.

A Bruin Low

As a Bruin fan, I think last night was the worst I've felt since the collapse. Two years in a row they've brought us up, only to drop us flat on our faces. Yet, here come the Celtics. They managed to find the Band-aid that the B's couldn't, they stopped the bleeding and advanced to the Finals once again. I'm officially going to mark May 29, 2010 as "rock bottom" for the Bruins and their fans. Coming from a fan who has watched several hundred consecutive games without missing a beat, it's a tough pill to swallow when Celtic fans are able to celebrate while the image of Simon Gagne's clincher plays over and over again.

It's been 38 years since the Black and Gold were able to lift a banner into the "Garden" rafters, yet it's not necessarily a title that the fans need. Alright, it is, but what they certainly didn't need was a collapse for the record books. And it doesn't stop there. In a press conference about a week ago, Peter Chiarelli happily announced to a room full of skeptics that the Bruins are one of five teams to make the second round each of the last two season. You pop the cork yet, Pete? You and JJ celebrating about that?

The collapse is an abomination in and of itself, but the reaction from Bruin hierarchy is just as nauseating. Jacobs is a soul-less owner, he's got no interest in the team. That attitude seemingly resonates on down. Chiarelli, while the architect of a solid young core, is content with second round exits in the playoffs. Coach Claude, while a great hockey mind, couldn't inspire his team enough to win one game out of four for a chance to play their arch-rivals in the Conference fucking Finals!

Why is tonight the worst night to be a Bruins fan? Why is this rock bottom? Because we have another reason to be envious of basketball fans! A hockey fan should never find envy in what a basketball fan has, and yet the Bruins have found a way to make it possible. It's rock bottom because the Celtics succeeded in closing out their series, they bandaged the cut and stopped the bleeding.

Hope Restored

Where the Bruins couldn't deliver, the Celtics have. A season where not much went right and the team battled through injuries and lost-identity, they have found a way to beat the odds in the playoffs and restore hope in the Boston-sports fanbase. This doesn't necessarily help ease the pain for me, but it does for the Celtic-Bruins "Hybrid Fans." At least, for now, the Boston Sports Arena has something to cheer for. Celtics, you're the toast of the city, way to come through.

Side Note: Prior to the game, something inside me was pulling for the Magic. I almost wanted them to come back from 3-0 down just so some other fan base would have to feel the pain that the Bruins dished out a few weeks ago. But I'm glad they didn't blow it, because at least some Boston fans have something to cheer about these days.

Side Question: How badly did Kobe shit himself tonight? I keep hearing that the Lakers have nothing to match the Celtics, that Rondo will just run wild that series. Also can't help that Andrew Bynum apparently has only one leg and could be defended by 100 year old John Wooden these days. Not only that, but Kobe has to be reliving the nightmare of a few years ago when the Celtics beat him in his own building and then shoved it in his face at the ESPY's.

2011 Winter Classic(s) Announced

The NHL is only finding ways to improve on it's biggest regular season attraction. Since the Winter Classic started in '08, it has only gotten better. The 2011 version should not disappoint. Gary Bettman announced today that the game will be played at Heinz Field, with the Penguins hosting the Capitals. How could it possibly get any better than that? For once, the NHL has absolutely nailed it! Crosby vs. Ovechkin! The sports biggest rivalry on the biggest stage. Bettman, for being one of the worst marketers in pro sports, seems to have figured this thing out. Rating and attendance continue to grow for the league, and it should expect to see the biggest Winter Classic turnout yet.

So, Bettman, I know we've had our differences and you suck in general, but way to go buddy...you've finally managed to do something right for this league.

Oops! I spoke too soon. That son of a bitch is going to water-down the tradition! He also announced that the NHL will have a second outdoor game next year. The Flames will host the Canadiens up in Calgary (in sub-zero temp's, probably). First, he goes and does the easiest and best thing for the league, and then he does this! Yea, hockey fans in Canada deserve to be treated to this, but don't water-down the Winter Classic. Both of these teams figure to be "average" clubs next year, and the NHL thought it would be a good idea to showcase them to national audiences. Gary, if you're gonna give fans in America's hat a treat, save it for 2012 and at least pit two rivals against each other instead of a meaningless inter-conference matchup. I, for one, would love to watch the Habs and Leafs battle in 2012, or even the Flames and Canucks...but please, why is it Calgary and Montreal?

Brett Who? John David Booty Looking for Buried Treasure

In order to help the Celtics fans recover from the other night’s horrid loss and to ease my own nerves about tonight’s Game 6, I decided to bring some humor to The Boston Sports Party. While watching the Celtics get blown out, my friends and I were analyzing the name Magic Johnson. Earvin Johnson, better known as Magic Johnson, was one of the NBA’s greatest players of all time. His game transcended the point guard position due to his speed, handles, agility, and court vision for a player of his size. But the name Magic Johnson is legendary in our eyes for another reason…

Magic Johnson would be the ultimate male porn star name. Is there even a debate? I guess Mo Cheecks, former Philadelphia 76ers head coach, would come in a distant second. On that note, what athletes share elite company with Magic Johnson and Mo Cheecks? Are there any athletes with names that rival those two? I have accumulated a list of the athletes whose unfortunate names have made themselves into instant punch lines.

Coco Crisp- The former Red Sox and Current Oakland Athletic has a sweet and tasty name. Question: Coco, Are you cereal or are you just ‘Trix’in us?

Milton Bradley- Maybe Bradley could actually stay with an organization if he engaged his teammates in a friendly game of Battleship or Operation. Bradley has tried to have fun this season while with the Mariners. Rumor has it that Milton Bradley and Ken Griffey were playing a game of “Statue” a few weeks back, Bradley stood still at the plate with the bat on his shoulders while Griffey pretended to sleep in the clubhouse. Griffey has at least "woken up" while Bradley's bat is as silent as the Lincoln Memorial.

Rusty Kuntz- Yup, that is the name of Kansas City Royals first base coach. What were his parents thinking!? Seriously, you named your kid Rusty Kuntz! How has he not legally changed his name? Can we award him the Medal of Honor of going above and beyond the call of duty? There is no doubt someone made a joke about his name daily and he has somehow tolerated all the jokes. Rusty Kuntz, The Boston Sports Party salutes you…you are a true soldier.

Reggie Abercrombie (Independent Baseball) – Hands down the best dressed athlete in the clubhouse. He is roommates with Dave American Eagle, George Lacoste, Jim Gap, and Martin Ralph Lauren.

Hoof Hearted (Horse) – In the words of rapper Shaggy, “It wasn’t me.”

Chubby Cox- Cox was selected 7th overall by the Chicago Bulls in the 1978 NBA draft. Cox was a 6”2’ point guard and was equally as large in another region. Patrick Ewing, watch out.

John David Booty – Avast! Houston Texans backup quarterback is Jack Sparrow’s right hand man during the off season. Aye! Now I know why JDB’s roger is so jolly. It is from all the fine pirate booty he has been pulling in. He likes to drop anchor in international waters. Okay, I will quit the lame pirate jokes.

Smush Parker (D-League for the Hornets and Cavs) – It would be too perfect if Parker was overweight.

OJ Mayo (Memphis Grizzles Guard) – Sounds like a protein shake gone wrong. The McGwire brothers must have tried this combination in a smoothie before. How else could you describe a 17’ forearm?

Dick Butkus (Hall of Fame Linebacker)- Only fitting that Butkus would become a sensational linebacker. No doubt he became so talented due to his early training of pummeling his peers back in elementary school for any wise remark directed towards him. You definitely do not want to kiss his butt or else you will get yours kicked.

Carlos Boozer (Utah Jazz Forward)- And you thought Boozer got laid only because of his game while at Duke. That guy could ball and drink. Just imagine him on the Beruit/Beer Pong Table….yikes!


...Celtics fans.... stay optimistic. In Pierce We Trust. Let's Go.

Friday's Notes

I'll start where everyone else seems to start, with Brett Favre. Don't be mistaken, the NHL and NBA playoffs are both reaching a climax. Yet most media outlets see the Favre-saga as the most crucial news (alright, it's right up there will the NBA Free Agent class). You've gotta love Darren Sharper taking advantage of the media, though. As soon as Favre's ankle surgery went public, the Saints safety put a bullseye on it. ABOUT TIME! Isn't everyone in the NFL fed up with #4's charade? Why has it taken so long for somebody to publicly declare that they want to end his career? And, to be honest, they'd be doing him a favor. Yea, Favre was MVP-like last season, but eventually he is just going to tarnish his legacy with 40-some year old play.

Next up...the Celtics. I hate to compare them to the Bruins, because they seem to want it more, but the parallels are still there! I can only imagine how nervous the Celtic die-hards are at this point. You get the sense that the Magic playing with their backs up against the wall has swung the momentum in their favor and made them the better team in the series. Now, home court seems to be a huge factor in the NBA Playoffs, and the Celts have a chance to close this thing out at the Garden tonight, but the Magic know that they are one win away from forcing a Game 7 in their own playground. This may not be as bad as the Bruins, where the fans saw the bleeding and knew that it couldn't be stopped, but the hopeless feeling is undoubtedly setting into the minds of some.

The real Dice-K is back! After nearly no-hitting the Phillies and seemingly turning the corner, he returned to his normal form last night against the Royals. 4 2/3 innings, eight walks...eight! I've never been a big fan of Dice K, and that right there is the reason. From his erratic tendencies to his long windup, he's an absolute nightmare to watch. I said that the Sox were showing signs of hope a few days ago, but it's going to be hard to sustain it if they can't get Dice-K under control or get some consistency out of Lackey and Beckett.

Time for the Bruins part of this blog. Via James Murphy of NESN, I heard an interesting and scary rumor today. The rumor had the Bruins trading for expensive center Vincent Lecavalier. While the B's have contracts big enough to equalize the financials (Bergeron, Wideman, Ryder, and Thomas), it doesn't make sense for Boston to absorb Lecavalier's cap hit (7.27 mil) for the next four years. Not to say Vinny isn't a great player, but he was accused last year of going through the motions... and the Black and Gold already have too many guys like that.

Is anyone pumped for the World Cup this year? I'm not a soccer fan, necessarily, but I'm definitely looking forward to the WC. While soccer is hardly noticed in North America, it's the World's biggest sport on it's biggest stage. Yea, it stinks that the US team will struggle to get out of their own group let alone advance into the medal rounds, but it's captivating TV nonetheless. And yea, while we don't care about the US team's success, it's nice to see fans in Spain, Germany, Argentina, or Russia cling to their team as if it decides whether they live or die.

Nervous Yet?

Watch a team blow a 3-0 series lead? Us Bruins fans have been there, done that...unfortunately. Now the Celtics are in danger of allowing the Magic to create some history of their own. I know that when Philly made the series 3-2 I was nervous, so is it much of the same for Celts fans? Probably not. The Celtics aren't known for choking like the B's are. They've got the leadership and desperation that the Bruins lacked. But still, the fans have to be at least somewhat nervous. There are some parallels to the B's-Flyers series. The Magic appeared to find their 3-point touch in Game 5 and Rashard Lewis evidently awoke from the dead. That's roughly what the Flyers got when Simon Gagne returned from a broken foot to torch Tuukka. Then, couple that with the Bruins losing Krejci to injury. The Celtics equivilent to that? Sheed's got back problems, Baby can't stand up these days, Rondo's got leg cramps or something, and Marquis Daniels is even having trouble seeing straight. So, for Celts fans, to say that you aren't nervous...stop bullshittin' a bullshitter, you're obviously feelin' some heat right now.

Sox out of the Red

Finally, the Sox are starting to show some signs of life. They've won four in a row and 7 of their last 8. The best part...they're beating the best teams in baseball to boot! They split the two game series with the Yankees, a series that they should have owned both games but Papelbon exploded. Then they swept the Twins, took 2 out of 3 from the Phils (including a beatdown of Roy Halladay), and now have the first two in a three game set with the Rays. Impressive little run they've got goin' here, especially after everyone had written them off for the season, myself included.

It's no surprise that their success has come as a result of their pitching, save for that two game Yankees series. In their 6 wins since that Yankees series, they've given up a total of eight runs, eight! Keep in mind the competition they've had to face. It's not like they're shutting down the Orioles and Padres, it's the Phillies and Rays! Jon Lester has rediscovered his ace-form, Dice K came close to perfection, Buchholz is becoming a man, and even Wake pitched-in (no pun intended) with 8 shutout innings against the best hitting team in Quadruple-A. Now, if only Lackey could develop some consistency and Beckett could healthy...

This recent stretch wasn't enough to get them out of fourth in the AL East (thanks to the pesky play of the Jays), but it has brought them within 1.5 games of the Yankees for the Wild Card spot. So, how much excitement should Sox fans have? Lets keep things realistic. It's nice to see them hit a hot-streak like this, it shows you that they do have what it takes to win. The big question, though, is can they sustain this level of play for the remainder of the season? While I must admit my initial projections for this team seem to be a bit underestimated, I still have an extremely difficult time seeing them compete with the Yankees or Rays. Why? Because the AL East is a hitting division, and both those lineups make the Sox's look like the mid-2000's Royals one that featured Ruben Mateo hitting cleanup. The sox are getting great efforts out of Youk, Drew, and Papi of late, but they still lack that middle of the order hitter that makes the opposing pitcher cringe.

Yea, this has been a great run for the Sox, they're showing that they shouldn't be written off by the middle of May (my apologies). But, Sox fans, keep your expectations for the rest of the season in check. Barring a big trade by Theo, the Sox simply won't have enough to stick with the two "giants" of the AL East, and they'll still miss the playoffs in 2010.

Call it the "Super" Super Bowl

Finally the NFL got it right! The Super Bowl is already the country's biggest sporting event, and now it's only going to get better (well, in 2014 it is). The biggest stage in the National Football League was always reserved for warm-climate, perfect weather cities and often featured dome stadiums. Yes, I know the NFL wants to allow their best players a chance to thrive under the best conditions. But why make any changes from the rest of the playoffs? Some of the greatest games in NFL history have been played in the rain, muck, and snow! That Patriots '01 journey was marked by that nail-biting epic at Foxboro in the heavy New England snow. The NFL is a rough-and-tough league throughout the entire season, and now they're finally bringing that mentality with them to the Super Bowl. So, Goodell, you did good kid, you did good.

Note: I'm calling it right now. The 2014 Super Bowl will pit that Patriots up against the Giants, and Brady will lead his underdog Patriots to a stunning upset over the heavily favored Giants playing in their home stadium. That'll be Brady's way of saying "fuck all you Manning-lovers, I'm the greatest of the generation!" It'll be Brady's last hurrah. He'll retire to pursue an acting career and chase down an Oscar he was owed long ago after being stiffed for his Earth Day commercial.

Stanley Cup Finals Preview

At the beginning of the Playoffs, who could have seen the Flyers coming? A team that got into the playoffs on the last day of the regular season is now representing the Eastern Conference in the Cup Finals. They did it by beating one of the best playoff goalies of all time (Marty Brodeur), coming back from 3-0 down in a series, and beating the team not even the Caps or Pens could figure out. Quite the playoff run so far for the Flyers, eh? Now, on the other hand, nobody is surprised to see the Hawks at this stage. Chicago has been one of the best and most consistent teams in the NHL this year, and their depth and talent was expected to carry them far in the playoffs. Lets not delve too far into how these teams got to this point, lets see how they matchup for this series.

Goaltending:
Between the pipes was supposed to be an area of weakness for both of these teams when the playoffs started. Lets start with Chicago. Antti Niemi began the year playing second-fiddle to starter Cristobal Huet, but proved too good to sit on the bench. After a very good rookie year (albeit with some shaky performances), Niemi was named the starter for the playoffs and has run with it. The young finnish netminder stopped 44 shots twice against San Jose's powerful offensive attack.
In the other crease, Michael Leighton came back from a high-ankle sprain in the second round to save the day after starter Brian Boucher went down with a sprained MCL. Leighton has embraced his opportunity and given Philly brick wall performances. After relieving Boucher, Leighton has posted playoff-best numbers (6-1 record, 3 shutouts, 1.48 GAA, .948 Sv. Pctg.) and has instilled confidence in his team.
Listen, although he's only been a part of 8 playoff games in his career, I'm a believer in Leighton. While Niemi has played great for the Hawks, I'm still not quite the believer in him due to his knack for giving up soft goals in crucial situations.
EDGE: Philadelphia

Defense:
The Blackhawks were one of the best defensive teams all year, while the Flyers struggled to find a rhythm on the blueline for most of the season. Each of these teams has a great amount of both talent and depth on the blueline, which could make this a defensive-minded series (despite the offensive firepower). Peter Laviolette and Joel Quenville will have the opportunity to send their top pairings onto the ice to negate the other team's top forward line all series, so look for those consistent matchups.
I've said it before and I'll say it again, Chris Pronger is a monster. With apologies to many of the Blackhawks great players, Pronger is the best player in this series. His calm demeanor with the puck, nastiness in his own zone, and booming shot from the point make him a threat all over the ice. Pronger will be backed up by a very deep defensive unit that includes shut-down guys as well as puck movers (Kimmo Timonen).
The Blackhawks lack the Pronger-like experience from their top blueliners, but they aren't too far behind in skill and nastiness. Duncan Keith will likely win the Norris Trophy as this season's top defenseman, and partner Brent Seabrook brings the Pronger-like nastiness needed for playoff action. If Philly is considered "deep," Chicago must be...insert word for "deeper than deep." That top pair will be accompanied by the best 3-6 defensemen in the sport, making it tough for Philly to get good looks.
EDGE: Despite their talent and depth, the Hawks don't have the "Pronger factor." Philly narrowly wins this category.

Forwards:
Again, depth and skill are two words that describe both of these teams. Philly is fully healthy after battling injuries to their top forward all season. Chicago hasn't had to deal with as many injuries, but they are every bit as talented and deep up front as their Eastern Conference counterpart.
After going without Simon Gagne, Jeff Carter, and Ian Laperriere for much of the first 3 rounds, the Flyers finally have all three back and healthy. Gagne proved to be the difference in the Bruins series, coming back to pot two game-winners. Meanwhile, Carter was the boost needed to help solve Jaroslav Halak and Laperriere provided a huge emotional lift to the team and the fans with his quick return. The Flyers, when healthy, are among the 3 or 4 most talented offensive teams in the entire NHL...and they're healthy. Chicago has the resources and pieces needed to negate some of the Flyers' bite, but it won't be easy.
On the other side, you've got another of the 3 or 4 most talented teams up front. Jonathon Toews is the Conn Smythe Trophy winner thus far, Dustin Byfuglien refuses to be stopped, Patrick Kane has played well, and Dave Bolland has earned his nickname "the rat" for getting under opponents skin (oh, and he has five goals). Chicago presents even more matchup problems for opposing defenses than the Flyers do. They have three lines that can score and one of the best checking lines in the entire league (led by defensive whiz John Madden and basher Ben Eager). I'm looking forward to seeing how effective the Toews-Kane line will be against Pronger and Co.
EDGE: Chicago


SERIES PREDICTION: The Pronger "no is not an option" factor puts the Flyers over the top. Chicago is as talented a team as there is in the league, and they'll make it one of the best Cup Finals in recent memory, but this is Philly's year. Flyers in six

Eli Manning Mistakes New Stadium Field As Parking Lot

Earlier today New York Giants quarterback Eli Manning showed up for some good old fashioned pig skin tossing with his Pa, Archie. Unfortunately Tom Coughlin double parked his Sebring into Eli's spot and left him baffled with what to do. After sitting in his car for approximately two and a half hours, Manning saw the training cart pull into the stadium through a side entrance. "Oh jeeze there must be some more parking over there!" Eli thought to himself. Poor Eli found himself driving around the field of newly build Meadowlands Stadium wondering where to park and in the process accidentally ran over Tom Arnolds foot who was there filming a new episode of The Best Damn Sports Show alongside Michael Strahan. Tom Coughlin managed to get Eli to stop the car yelling "What the hell are you doing there boy!? Get out of the damn car before you kill somebody!". With a grin on his face as if nothing had gone wrong, Eli stepped out of the car, grabbed a football and slung it towards his old man, who was not paying any attention, striking him right in the baby maker. "Justhhh go home Eli" Strahan yelled, "Haven't you done enough?" At that time Eli started crying and ended up running home, wondering why everyone was so mad at him. No one has spoken to him since, and many are beginning to question if he'll be back for the start of training camp.

2009-10 Celtics > 2007-08 Celtics

The Celtics are better this year than in their championship run from 2007-08. Why, you ask? Rajon “Freaking” Rondo.

The emergence of Rondo as a “star”, and a scoring threat is the biggest difference between the Celts title run from two years ago and this year’s squad. It doesn’t take much watching to see how much better this team is compared to the title team, and people are finally starting to see it.

Dunbar may not be watching, but I am, and this is what I have noticed about the 2009-10 team, and my guarantee that they are winning the title…

1. The Rondo Factor- With Rondo emerging as a true scoring option, as well as one of the top-3 point guards in the league this year, it takes so much pressure off the “Big Three, aka the Old Balls Brigade.” Instead of running all plays through Pierce or Allen at the top of the key, the Celts can have Rondo push the tempo with his speed, and that creates better looks for Pierce and Allen, while giving Garnett more quick play opportunities, instead of him posting up with a bumb knee.

Rondo pushes the tempo in transition, and this year, he has proven that he can FINISH. In the title run a couple years ago, every Celts fans cringed every time Rondo went to the rim for a layup, knowing that the ball was going to get swatted all the way to Cape Cod by any big around the rim. This year, you expect him to make a play, and make someone look silly.

2.Defense- The defense has been the ultimate reason for the Celtic resurgence in the playoffs this year. As in 2007-08, the Celtics have relied on their defense to win games. While teams are trying to score 120+ points every night, the Celts have focused on shutting down their opponent, taking away their strength, and playing THEIR game. Well, this has turned into back-to-back series of domination, defense and pride. Pierce and Tony Allen have combined to shut down the “scorers” on the Cavs and Magic, while Garnett, Perkins and the Ghost of Rasheed Wallace have protected the paint from the Freaks… Shaq and Dwight Howard.

3. A man with a plan- Instead of just relying on Pierce, Garnett and Allen, Doc Rivers has settled into a rotation which allows for the old men to take a seat, without productivity taking a major fall off. Although it still makes me cringe to see Ray Allen, Tony Allen, Big Baby, Rasheed Wallace and Michael Finley on the floor all at once, they are actually being effective. They are playing great defense and capitalizing on the other team’s second units to help extend leads in the second quarter. If everyone keeps buying into their job and their role, then we could be seeing Garnett at midcourt yelling, “ANYTHING IS POSSIBLEEEEEEE!!!!,” as Kobe walks off the court to join Big Ben for some drinks at the nearest rape bar.
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Keys to Game 4:

1. Don’t let Rashard Lewis breath. The Celtics have done a great job limiting Lewis, and the three-point shooting in this series. You don’t want these assholes getting going. Especially J.J Redick and Lewis. Hey Redick, you’re an asshole and no one likes you.

2. Bigs stay out of foul trouble. As much as I like to see Perkins face when he gets pissed off, I want him on the floor to help shut down Dwight. Perk may be the MVP of the series so far.

3. Crowd. Score early and run the floor. Nothing gets drunk Irish Celtics fans more rowdy than A fast-break alley-oop from Rondo to Garnett followed by intense high fives from Scalabrine.

4. Paul Pierce. Show off your dick. You are the big man in beantown, and you live for these type of games. Close them out tonight, and get your boys rested up for Kobe and the Lakers. In the words of Kevin Millar, “Don’t let us win tonight.” Don’t give them a chance to breathe, because Boston can’t handle a Bruins type collapse. Go Green!

Monday's Notes

Run Prevention:
It was the convenient excuse for Theo and the Sox front office after they repeatedly failed to put a power bat in the middle of their lineup for this season (Bay, Holliday...Teixeira), and now they're contradicting it...ok, they have the whole year, but still. It's obvious that Dice-K is night and day when it comes to V-tek or V-mart behind the plate. When it's Tek, he's lights out. If it's Mart, he would have trouble retiring one of the midgets from "Little People, Big World." So, the obvious solution is to go by the "run prevention" scheme and just match him up with Varitek for each start, right? Wrong! Tito and the Sox don't want to "give-in to Dice K's demands" and won't let him run the clubhouse. So, let me get this straight, you want to employ run prevention, and yet you're good with Dice K giving up 11 runs per 9 innings with Martinez behind the plate? Oh, wait, I get it. Martinez must be putting up Triple-Crown type numbers...eh, not so much. If you're going to blow smoke up Sox fan's asses with your lame strategy, then don't contradict it so blatantly!

Rondo, KG, and the Celts:
Again, I didn't watch the Celtics game 3 action, but I saw the important highlights. That Rondo play was just pure hustle. One of the things I've mentioned as a reason for disliking the NBA is the lack of pure hustle and the excess of "beauty pageant" antics. Rondo diving past Jason Williams, grabbing the ball, hopping up and sinking the floater shows that maybe the Celtics aren't a part of the pageant. Then KG summed things up perfectly when asked about recent Boston-sports history. Asked if the Bruins meltdown would have any effect on their outlook on the rest of the series, KG simply said "the Celtics aren't the Bruins, and the Bruins aren't the Celtics." Yup, Rajon showed us and you told us. The Bruins never had that type of desperation this year, and they don't have the vocal leader like the Celts have in KG. Hopefully, for the fans-sake, the Celtics keep that desperation and are able to lift the city back up, because the Bruins, Sox, and Pats have each failed in the last few years.

Lima Time:
I can't say I'm surprised at all about the way Jose Lima kicked-off. Watching that guy pitch back in the day, you just knew he was gonna have a heart attack at some point. The guy is grabbing a lot of headlines for being such a mediocre-to-crappy pitcher (over 5 ERA for his career), but I guess you are owed your fair share when you dance on the mound and speak in tongues when you get a guy to ground out.

Hawks are back:
They are back in the Cup Finals for the first time since being swept by Super Mario and the Penguins in '92. Keep in mind they also haven't won the thing since '61, 49 years, and hold the longest championship drought in the sport. They're deservedly back in the Finals, though, after dismantling the one-seeded Sharks in four games. Jonathan Toews, Dustin Byfuglien, and Antti Niemi all pitched in with huge series' and will look to deliver Lord Stanley to the Windy City in a few weeks.

Lackey to Move to Hot Dog Vendor?

With Tim Wakefield putting on a dominant performance against the Phillies, Theo Epstein and Terry Francona have been put in a tough position that may result in some juggling of the starting rotation. One that may have John Lackey delivering hotdogs instead of meatballs (pun intended) if he doesn't get his act together.

Superman not a Magician!

Maybe KG still is, by himself, enough to turn a series from a nail-biting seven-gamer to a one-sided sweep. I haven't watched a Celts game this postseason (I've watched parts, but not a whole game), but what's the deal here? Did the Magic make an early June tee-time for the whole team that they just can't miss? Does Stan Van Gundy have another film to star in? Did the bunny just fail to come out of the hat? I thought this was supposed to be a series! I thought the Cavs series was supposed to be close! Are the Celts that good? Could have sworn KG was on his last legs and that the C's tried to rid themselves of Ray Allen at the trade deadline. Maybe the Celtics just know how to kick it into that high-gear when they need to. I hate to admit it, but this team wins when it counts. Fuck the up-and-down regular season, lets just win in the playoffs. Maybe if another un-named Boston team would take that mentality then they wouldn't blow a 3-0 series lead. It's not often I'm envious of a basketball fan; they do, after all, have to put up with watching the horror show that is basketball; but I can safely say, right now, that I'm jealous of all Celtics fans who get to watch their team absolutely destroy D-wade, Lebron, and Superman week after week. I guess if I'm Rapist Bryant right now, I'd book that tee time real soon.

Chara, take notes

Listen, I love Chara, he's a great defenseman. As I've eluded to in previous posts, he isn't HOF-great (see: Pronger, Chris), but he's still a bona-fide a number 1 defenseman (he did win the Norris Trophy for a reason). But what in the world did I do to deserve this type of punishment? The punishment...watching Hal Gill play like Chara should have this playoffs. Yes, I'm suffering through this Habs-Flyers game 4 right now, and it sucks. It took me ten minutes to notice two things, and I had previously noticed both before. Number one, Chris Pronger is a monster. The guy is the best and meanest defenseman in the NHL right now (sorry, Drew Doughty). Something about the guy says that he just won't take no for an answer in the playoffs. Secondly, I'm watching Hal Gill shut down the Flyers' dynamic offense (it's fully healthy now, and has a ton of talent). Where Chara couldn't shut down Mike Richards in the first round, Hal Gill is absolutely giving him fits. Now, back to my question...What did I do to deserve the punishment of watching Hal Gill succeed where Zdeno Chara could not? I'm gonna have to figure out what I'm doing wrong and correct it before next April.

Now, having said all of that and ranting like a drunk drama-queen, I still don't see the Habs making a comeback and ousting the Flyers. Philly, when fully healthy, is talent-wise the second best team in the Eastern Conference. Add that to the fact that Michael Leighton is playing great between the pipes and you've got a formula for playoff success (don't forget about that Pronger guy, either). I didn't think the Habs could knock off the Caps and Pens, and I still have my doubts...but they've proven me wrong before.


PS. I am just now noticing that Ian Laperriere is back in Philly's lineup. That guy is the toughest motherfucker in sports. Takes a 90 mph slapshot to the face, suffers a skull fracture, and has swelling in his brain and he shakes it off within 3 weeks. I said get Dustin Byfuglien on the Bruins...lets follow that up with inking Ian Laperriere!

Get me this guy!

This is what the boys in Beantown need! It's no secret anymore that they've only won two playoff series this decade and have failed to get past the second round. Why the failures? Well there's several reasons, but lets focus on one...the lack of unsung hero's. I'm sure getting either Tyler Seguin or Taylor Hall come draft day and the growth of Zach Hamill and Joe Colborne will give them more frontline talent up front for years to come. That frontline talent, coupled with Tuukka's brilliance, will be key in delivering a Cup to Boston. But talent alone won't bring you a championship (see: Washington Capitals, 2009-2010). What puts teams over the top in the postseason are guys like Dustin Byfuglien. The guy plays an incredibly similar game to Milan Lucic, just a bulldozer who opposing players must hate playing against. Skill-set and style aside, you need guys like Buff to win championships in the NHL. He gets under guys' skin like almost nobody else in hockey, and he's got three game winning goals in the playoffs. Who knows, maybe Lucic's development allows him to step into Buff's shoes and takes the "clutch, unsung hero" label for the B's. But, until they find their hero, it's gonna be tough to win in the NHL playoffs on talent alone.

When is it Strasburg Time?

Without a doubt, even before he pitches in a Major League game, Stephen Strasburg is already the Washington Nationals best player. Trouble for Nationals management...everyone knows it, and they want him now. Now, Washington ain't exactly your typical "gotta win now" type of environment, in fact, it's just about the opposite. But when your franchise has been starved of an image ever since Vlad Guerrero left the Expos, you start to get a little bit restless as a fan. Strasburg, once he arrives, will not only be the image of the Nationals, but should be a Tim Lincecum-like figure known throughout the sports world. But, when do the Nationals decide it's time?

If you're a Nats fan (are there any?), then I can't blame you for wanting Strasburg in the rotation now. Then again, with the lack of fans, I'm surprised Nats management hasn't pulled the trigger on this one just to fill the seats every fifth day. But there's a method to this madness. The last thing that starved franchise needs is for their precious possession to be rushed into action and end up like:

David Clyde - The Rangers rushed the 18 year old phenom to the majors to sell tickets, only to see his arm burn-out a few years later.

Mark Prior - Prior was a good pitcher for a few years (3rd in CY voting in 2003), but the Cubs rushed him to the majors the year after he was drafted...his arm and his career suffered.

Andrew Miller - Called up a year after being picked by the Tigers and almost put on the postseason roster. He was a huge part of the Miguel Cabrera trade and just hasn't been able to the the magic that made him a high first round pick.

So, while team management may want to sell tickets to settle their clamoring fans, they need to err on the side of caution with their young phenom. It'd be one thing if they could realistically could contend by adding him, but they aren't contending in a division with the Phillies anytime soon. Bottom line, give Strasburg time in the minors. Allow him a chance to develop his arsenal, build his arm set, and find a sense of humility before you unveil him to Major League audiences. If the Nats fail to give the guy time, he could end up being Mark Prior, part deux.

Hit 'em Up Hawky Style

I once again said to myself that I wouldn't watch a minute of the Stanley cup playoffs after that dreadful series against the orange team. However as a hockey fan I couldn't resist turning on the Sharks and Hawks game the other day. For one thing, it's not too often that I get to see teams from the Western Conference play never mind two of the best. Once again the Sharks appear to have come up short this year, having beaten an underachieving Red Wings team only to have to face a team in Chicago that looks like the Red Wings of recent years. The Blackhawks led the Western Conference in goal differential this year, and Jonathan Toews and Patrick Kane are a one-two punch that is difficult for any team to match up with.

After the way Antii Niemi has been playing (44 saves on the road in game 1 of the series), one might not even realize that the guy only started in 2 games last year but has taken full advantage of the opportunity to play in net for one of the best teams in the NHL. Up 2-0 in the series the Blackhawks look to expand that lead on Friday in Chicago where they have managed to go 3-3 at home this postseason. Could there be hope for the Sharks? Do you trust Dikembe Mutombo with the wrong end of a basketball? I see the Blackhawks making easy work of the Sharks and going on to end this 50 year title-less drought.

Hanley turning into Manny

Alright, I've got to admit that I don't really give a crap about this whole Hanley Ramirez thing. Yea, he could have chased that ball a little harder (or just made the play in the first place), but so what? Then it got me thinking. I mean obviously I don't care about what some guy does when he's in a Florida Marlins uni, why would I care about the fish? But there are two dynamics to a situation like this. There is the manager's dynamic, and then there's the fan and media reaction.

To some degree, I can't blame Hanley. For the betterment of the team, you don't want him acting like he's better than everyone else. But fact is...he is better than everyone on the team. In fact, he's better than most in the entire league! That aside, baseball is a team sport, not 25 individuals going in their own direction. From the manager's standpoint, I think Fredi Gonzalez was right to call Hanley out and to bench him. As a fan, even if my team were the Marlins, I still don't care. We've gone through the Manny era here in Boston, and every time he fucked up or did something stupid, it wasn't a big deal because you knew the guy was the best right-handed hitter in baseball and was good for 35-40 homers and 120+ RBI. Manny leaving Boston was a case of a divided clubhouse and the media reading into things that weren't there in the first place (thanks, Shank).

If Hanley weren't world-class and was part of the Scutaro-tier of players, then yea, fans should and would have a beef with it. But lets face reality, Hanley is almost a class of his own, and while his manager should have a problem with the antics, the fans should just accept it for what it is and just wait for him to make up for it, because it'll happen.

Quick Thoughts

I'll start with the NBA Draft Lottery. You know, for not being a fan of the NBA, I like the draft. I'm still not sure why I tuned my TV to ESPN for the lottery process, but I'm glad I did. The unveiling of the top 3 teams was both comical and familiar. The whole year I kept hearing that the Nets were historically bad and easily the worst team in the league, so I figured that they would benefit most from drafting John Wall. The best part was ESPN showing the "Fan Party" for Nets diehards, and watching them act in devastation was somewhat comical. Yea, I'm devastated about the Bruins, but there's a safety net catching all those Bruins fans jumping off Zakim Bridge (his name is Taylor Hall...or Tyler Seguin). Now the Nets fans have to deal with being the worst team in the league one year and not getting this years phenom as part of the compensation for their epic struggles. It reminds me of years ago when I thought I was going to become a Celtics fan when they would draft Greg Oden. Watching the lottery and seeing the Celts logo come up for the fifth pick just kinda sealed the deal for me never being a fan of basketball.

Moving on...Anyway, glad to see two outspoken dickheads got beat-up in the Sox-Yanks mini series. If there is anyone on the Sox I love to root against it has to be Papelbon. Whether it's his stupid goggle dance, the "Cinco-ocho" routine, or the fact that he played stupid when the Sox got Lackey and "didn't know" until three weeks later. My ass Paps, stop trying to play the nonchalant tough guy and please realize that you aren't Mariano Rivera just yet. Oh, the other guy who got hammered? Joba. If there is any athlete in general that you love to root against, it has to be this fat toad. Good to see he blew the second game of the series and gave the Red Sox at least a small glimmer of hope. Now don't get me wrong, the Sox aren't going anywhere this year, but it's still nice to see them beat the Bombers.

As much as I hate to right now, I'll right a small part on here about the NHL Playoffs. I'll start with Joe Thornton. The guy finally was able to get past the first round of the playoffs this year, but he's back to his usual tricks in the Conference Finals against Chicago. Chicago, in my mind, has already advanced to the Finals. Same goes for Philly. I had a hard time deciding who I wanted to lose more in the Montreal-Philly series, and I guess it's got to be the Habs. But it's still painful to see the Flyers advance and then absolutely trash their opponent in dominating fashion for the first two games of the next round. I think you have to throw Philly in the same situation as the Hawks, because they've likely punched their ticket to the final. In fact, as painful as it's going to be, I think it'll be Mike Richard hoisting the Cup in a few weeks. There's just something about Chris Pronger that says losing isn't an option in the playoffs, and Michael Leighton now has two shutouts and a "half shutout" in just over four games so far in the playoffs.

It's nice to see that the Bruins are being proactive in contract talks with Dennis Seidenberg. He was arguably the Bruins best defenseman down the stretch after being acquired in a deadline-day deal. Too bad he severed a tendon in his wrist that cut his season short just prior to the playoffs. Still, it will be hard to consider this long offseason a success if the Bruins aren't able to retain Seidenberg and Johnny Boychuk, both unrestricted free agents.

One quick note before I wrap things up, and it's about Thierry Henry. It's David Beckham 2.0. Another European soccer star who's career is winding down and he can no longer cut it over in the Premiere Leagues where soccer actually matters! Note to Henry and all MLS owners...people in the US never have, don't currently, and never will care about MLS soccer! Soccer in the US is to European soccer what the Lowell Spinners are to the Sox organization. If people in North America are gonna pay attention to soccer, they're gonna watch the major leagues, not the equivalent of a short-season minor league affiliate.

Save the Ship!

Think Theo Epstein is regretting his decision to try and become the newest Billy Beane of Major League Baseball? While Beane's "Moneyball" strategy worked magic for his small-market team during the middle part of the last decade, similar steps haven't worked in Boston. Now, where small-money teams need to employ such strategies, Theo is the GM of a team that dominates one of the biggest markets in the country. Yes, this is old news. Theo tried to win with "run prevention" by signing automatic outs at the plate with the hope that they'd save a run or two a game. Well, now we are about a month and a half into the season and the Sox are a pedestrian 19-19 and sit fourth, yes, FOURTH, in the AL East. The saddest part of this first part of the season isn't the mediocre record or the low standing, it's the reason that has to truly eat away at Epstein's conscience. The Sox haven't struggled this season because of their thought-to-be anemic offense (4th in the AL in runs scored), but rather it is their defense and pitching that has killed them! The Sox have allowed 201 runs, most in the American League, thanks to spotty and inconsistent pitching and under-spectacular defensive efforts. I'm sure that when the Sox signed Adrian Beltre they were hoping for something far more than the near-paralyzed Mike Lowell could have given them on defense. So far...I'd say Beltre, defensively, has given the Sox about as much Ken Jeong could give Jenna Jameson.

So...Theo...time to put the ego aside and save the god damn ship already! Lets just optimistically assume that the pitching will right itself. Lester has already shaken his annual April-struggles and seems to be back on track toward being one of the top left-handers in baseball. Beckett has been horrid and Lackey so-so, while Dice-K showed a glimmer of hope and Buchholz has been as good as could have been expected. So, the pitching should right itself, lets not worry about that dimension just yet.

Now, where does the makeover begin? More importantly, could any acquisition help put the Sox back on level playing field with the Yankees or Rays? Well, first-off, I'm not sure any single maneuver that Theo could make right now would vault them onto the same pedestal occupied by those two teams. The Yankees, while in second place, I still see as being the class of the league. They've simply got too much hitting, a bona-fide ace, a dominant closer, and an energetic manager. The Rays, on the other hand, are far too talented and deep for the Sox to get even with by adding a single piece. Now, having said that, this isn't a "wait for next year" city. Boston sports fans expect to win now! You can't look at this situation and say that it's unfixable and that you'll wait for your system to work out the kinks in the armor. Lets face facts Theo. If Papi ain't back on the juice, he'll never return to form. Mike Cameron isn't coming back 10 years younger. Jacoby won't have found a "40-homer swing" after his rehab assignment. These struggles aren't going to be solved internally, folks. So, what is the solution here? Well, there's a few names kickin' around the rumor mill that could provide the Sox with a needed kick in the grundle in time to make a 2nd half run at the Wild Card spot.

Option A - Adrian Gonzalez, First Baseman, San Diego Padres:
This idea has been kicked around Beantown since the GM meetings in December. The Yankees were busy firing off deals for Curtis Granderson and Javier Vazquez (whoops!) and the Sox fans and Boston media needed to find an appropriate reaction for Theo. Gonzalez fit the bill. He's a young, left handed masher with Gold Glove tendencies that any organization would be able to build around. But the Sox didn't make the deal happen over the Winter and now another obstacle is in place...the Padres are contending! Yea, those Padres. They're the happy owners of the NL West lead (I know, it's early...) and have a better record than the Sox to this point. But it's not even the fact that their contending that makes this deal unlikely, it's the fact that he's a guy to build around and, for the time being, he's affordable! That works in the Padres favor in two ways. First, they can just hold onto the guy, hope to resign him, and slot him in the middle of their order for the next decade. Secondly, if they do trade him, it gives them more bargaining power in any discussion. So while Gonzalez is the closest the Sox could come to Mark Teixeira, it's a highly unlikely and expensive scenario. The Padres would likely ask in return a package consisting of Ellsbury, Buchholz or Casey Kelly, Lars Anderson, and another prospect (Tazawa? Bowden? Iglesias?) Again, in a win now type of environment, that may seem a reasonable price to pay, but given Theo's track record recently, it's unexpected.

Option B - Lance Berkman, First Baseman, Houston Astros:
The Astros are in the position many expected the Padres to be in right about now...the worst team in the National League. Not only is this team bad, but their old and loaded with albatross contracts (Berkman, Roy Oswalt, Carlos Lee to name a few). It is without doubt that Houston will try to ship some of these big contracts out of town in an effort to rebuild the system, clear out some bad contracts, and get younger. Berkman, now 34 years old, is signed through 2011 at $14.5 mil annually, so it's understandable why the Astros would like to find a taker for their five-time All Star. Although he's endured some knee troubles over the past year and a half, Berkman is still very effective at the plate. He's a high OBP type guy who hits from both sides of the plate and still possesses a fair amount of power. While he may no longer be the 40 HR masher he used to be, it's reasonable to predict that he'll enjoy a Todd Helton-like late career and remain very useful into his late-30's. Given the injuries over the past few season, his ridiculous contract, and his limited range in the field, Houston should have little to no bargaining power in trade negotiations surrounding Berkman. They'll have the option to eat his contract to get a good prospect or to get rid of that salary and obtain an OK prospect. This scenario is far more likely than any regarding Gonzalez. It's conceivable the Sox could take Berkman and only surrender a few B-prospects (Bowden, Tazawa, Josh Reddick, or Aaron Bates). And while it's easy to get excited at the possibility of having Berkman replace Papi in the daily lineup, lets not forget that the Yankees just lost Nick Johnson to wrist surgery. Wouldn't it just be fitting to see the Yankees come out of nowhere to pull this one off? It's like we're used to it by now.

Option C - Mystery Box:
Having witnessed the horror show that was the 2009-2010 Red Sox offseason, it's certainly fathomable to see the Theo and company search for "value" rather than make a big splash in the trade market. At some point, you would expect Major League executives in a massive sports-market to realize that it's not all about building through the farm system and signing cheap "fillers," but lets not set the bar too high. In fact, not only is it fathomable that they go for value deals, it's likely. I guess the law of averages says that for every value-signing that sucks there should be another value-signing that turns into the next 'Roid-era Ortiz. There are plenty of names to write on pieces of paper and toss into a hat, but which one will the Sox pull out of the bunch? Guys like Josh Willingham, Cody Ross, Conor Jackson, or Corey Hart wouldn't cost the pretty penny that a guy like Gonzalez or Berkman could demand, but they'd provide much less punch than those lineup-changers.

It's obvious that the Sox need to shake things up, even if it's only the middle of May. In Boston, it's almost career suicide to bring a guy like Lars Anderson or Casey Kelly into the fold and ask them to make season-changing contributions, so anything that will bring this team back to a competitive level is going to come via the trade market. Is it likely that the Sox will find themselves in the hunt for Options A or B? No, I certainly wouldn't use the term "likely." Sure, it's possible, but I can't see it happening. All I ask of the Sox and their front office is to make it look like they want to win; because, to date, it appears they're trying to move up in next year's draft. For all those who live and die by the Sox, keep your expectations and hopes for this team realistic (something I have failed to do for other Boston organization which shall not be named), as it'll only ease the pain of missing the playoffs.

Caps Re-up Backstrom

To most of the sports world, this signing will probably go a tad unnoticed. Backstrom is one of the most underrated superstars in the NHL and is every bit as good as the Malkin's or the Datsyuk's of the league. The Caps resigned their top center to a decade-long deal worth $67 million. A hefty price to pay, but it ensures that, talent-wise, the Caps will once again be the class of the Eastern Conference next season.

PS. Yea, this post kind of contradicts my last one and makes me look hypocritical (the playoffs are still going on!), but can you guys honestly expect me to watch another minute of NHL Playoffs given the fact that I just died a few days ago?

The NBA Playoffs?

Having not been an NBA fan my entire life, I've always found it hard to follow the NBA Playoffs. In fact, I wouldn't even consider myself a "non-fan," but instead I would classify myself among the small group of people that despise the NBA. First off, I'm not typically a bandwagon fan, except that one time the Revolution made three straight MLS Cup's and broke my heart each time! So I find it hard to adapt to the NBA even when the Celtics are at or near the top (see: 2008 NBA Champions). Secondly, I've always found NBA basketball to be incredibly repetitious and theatrical. It must be the hockey fan in me that wants to see physicality and ugly-play when it comes to fighting for championships instead of individual diva's searching for a spot on ESPN's Top 10, but that's neither here nor there. In fact, my general dislike of the NBA has nothing to do with the on-court antics of the league's superstars.

The 2010 NBA Playoffs have already been the best showcase for why some people find the NBA a disgusting dramatization. Now, bear with me basketball lovers, because much, if not all, of this perception is due to mainstream media (notably you, ESPN). But, when the advocacy and championing of single player takes center stage over the chase toward the sport's Holy Grail, then it becomes maddening and repulsive. Case and point...Lebron James (you had to see that one coming).

Now I would have no problem turning on my television and seeing Mike Wilbon, Tim Legler, or even Bill Walton blabber on about the Celtics playing the Magic or how the Phoenix Suns have absolutely no chance against the Hollywood Rapists. My problem is that when I change the channel to 49 (849 for you HD'ers), all I see on the side-ticker is "NBA Free Agency" and "Lebron." At some point, I would imagine it even has to become offensive to the most diehard NBA fans. Now, from what I hear, because I don't know jack about talent in the NBA, this Lebron guy is a pretty good player. But why does that mean we have to make excuses for his pathetic playoff efforts and speculate as to where he'll be playing next year?

It has now gotten to the point where the Lebron talk has gotten absolutely laughable. It was bad enough when Lebron was attributing his struggles to "feeling like he got hit in the funny-bone." Now we've got word that he actually struggled because Delonte "ugly as fuck" West was pumpin' Gloria James. How many excuses does "The King" need? Yea, you sucked in the playoffs, get over it. When Arod was struggling every October, it was simply the fact that he wasn't an October player. When Joe Thornton was still pulling the eight-spoked B over his chest and getting repeatedly silenced in the playoffs, it was attributed to the fact that he was simply not a playoff guy and couldn't cut it when it really mattered. But now that the superstar of the NBA can't cut it in the playoffs, it has to be some sort of injury or supernatural phenomenon that is making him struggle!

It doesn't even stop there! We can think of all the excuses in the world for why he can't cut it in the playoffs and why he hasn't lived up to his "Next Jordan" billing just yet, but ESPN and Co. need to take it a step further! Rather than devoting their attention to the remaining four teams in the hunt for a championship, they would rather speculate as to what is going to happen in free agency. Will Lebron stay in Cleveland? What about Chicago or New York? Will he sign in Miami to play with D-wade? Will he transfer to the NFL to inevitably become an all-pro at WR? Answer to all of the above...WHO THE FUCK CARES!? The playoffs are still happening! Hi, ESPN, I'm Earth, have we met? Wake up NBA fans! Stop glorifying your self-wallowing superstars and focus!

The problem with the NBA might not even be the fact that the play is dull, repetitious, and often meaningless and boring. The biggest problem with the NBA, and yes, I realize that the NBA has a much bigger fan base than the NHL, is the fact that the fans and the media would rather pamper the individuals of the league than endorse their favorite team. For teams like the Celtics, I can admit things are different. From what I can gather, they're all about the team aspect of the sport. But for the majority, the NBA is a league of individuals, and it's the reason I'll never jump on the bandwagon come playoff time.

Silver Lining?

For you optimists among us searching for a silver lining after last nights meltdown, your going to need a set of eyeglasses as thick as Harry Caray's to find it. There is very, very little you can take from a collapse like that and shine a light over it. In fact, the only silver linings in this whole debacle can be attributed to the pessimism that makes a Bruins fan a Bruins fan. Were the B's, minus David Krejci and Marco Sturm, likely to solve Jaroslav Halak where Ovechkin and Crosby had failed? No, especially given the lifelessness they so aptly displayed in the final four games of this series. But I'm sure every single Bruin fan on the planet right now would take even a four game sweep at the hands of the Canadiens over the biggest collapse in sports history!

Then there is always the second pessimistic view that will probably help "ease" the pain. Even if we somehow shattered the Canadiens glass slipper, then there was no way these B's would be able to take down either the Sharks or Hawks, right? Yea, that's probably correct too. But the day a fan would rather his team bow out in the second round rather than make a Finals appearance is the day they are no longer a fan.

For Bruins fans this year, there is no silver lining to this season's end. There was none last year when Scott Walker stabbed us all with a rusty dagger, and this seasons miserable ending is far, far worse. For those of you counting, this marks the third straight year that the B's have made it to a Game 7 of a playoff series and flopped. Except this time, the flop was historically bad. This flop is the most embarrassing of all flops in the history of civilization. Bruins fans, yet again, are forced to hang their heads in shame and watch as the diehard Celtics fans enjoy a team that can win when it counts.

They did it again!

After Scott Walker burned the B's last year, I've spent the last 12 months of my life just assuming that the Bruins couldn't possibly find a more devastating way to end their season. I was wrong, very wrong. Turns out that not only could they find a more devastating way to lose a series, but they did it exactly one year later! I'm sure for us die-hard B's fans, May 14th isn't gonna be celebrated in the years to come. In fact I'm pretty sure that if those crazy Mayan's and their calendar are correct about the world coming to an end in 2012, it's going to be May 14th of that year that dooms us.

Tonight, the Bruins became just the third team in NHL history, joining the '42 Red Wings and the '75 Penguins, to blow a 3-0 series lead. You can chalk it up to the lack of effort, poor coaching, David Krejci's limp wrist, or just Tuukka Rask not being able to do it himself like Jaroslav Halak has done. But, bottom line, Philly was simply the better team since being booed out of their own building in Game 3.

Not only did the B's pull an out-of-this-world collapse out of their magic hats, but they blew a tremendous opportunity to make hockey in Boston front-page news even with the Celtics still chasing a championship of their own. A win tonight would have meant a Bruins-Canadiens conference final. But now we'll only have to imagine what that series could have been, what it would have been. The Bruins, for the time being, are back to being the laughing-stock of the Boston sports arena, and after that collapse, rightfully so.

The dynamic of the series changed about 5:30 into the first period of Game 3, when Mike Richards took advantage of a Zdeno Chara buddy-pass and nearly decapitated Krejci. Yes, they took a 3-0 series lead and gave themselves four opportunities to close out the Broad Street Bullies. But two things happened that game. Firstly, the Bruins looked at the scenario and said to themselves "Holy shit, we're up 3-0!" They gave themselves a unwarranted sense of belonging, like they already had this thing wrapped up, this much was obvious given their play in games five and six. Secondly, the teams identity was lost amongst the dislocation of Krejci's wrist. It was as if somebody pulled the plug at the bottom of the bathtub and all the water just drained out. So after giving themselves that faulty sense of security, they got the news on their top centerman (sorry Bergy and Savard) and all of the sudden security turned into distress, and eventually became panic.

You got the feeling at some point during the fifth game that the Bruins no longer believed they could hang with the Flyers. Now, there is to be no debating as to who the more talented team was in this series. The Bruins, in almost any matchup they face, are going to be on the lower-end of the talent spectrum. But they simply lost faith in their ability to play as a team.

On an individual level, Bruins fans got to see first hand that the reigning Norris Trophy winner is nowhere near the level of future Hall of Fame defenseman Chris Pronger. All season B's fans have felt a sense of security whenever the 6 foot niner stepped onto the ice. But this series, the confidence, the tenacity, and the dominance just wasn't there when it needed to be. Chara was an average player in the series, as where Pronger was the best player in the series.

Shame on the Bruins. They had an entire city behind their back last Wednesday, it looked as if they were going to be playing for a Conference Championship. And who better to play for a spot in the Cup Finals than the Canadiens? The Bruins had four opportunities over the past week to make hockey the sport in Boston. It would have been huge for the city and huge for the sport, but the Bruins morphed back into the team that lost ten in a row during the regular season and blew their chance to be on top. As Bruins fans, lets just hope to god that this series doesn't destroy Tuukka as it did Carey Price two years ago.

PS. I wrote this entire entry on Thursday because I had no faith that the Bruins could close this thing out. Then they go out and grab a 3-0 lead in the game, not series, and they manage to blow that, too. I would love to place a rant at the bottom of this section but I can't even muster the energy to do it right now.